Tag Archives: Pride

Keeping safe spaces safe, including at pride!

Anonymous Guest Author

Mascara and Tears called moving on from transitioning ‘ascension’: the process whereby a transgender person buries their transgender status and just lives their life in their new state. Their focus was medical but that process of moving on can happen with anything. Their basic response was rooted in the time of its writing: they didn’t really see a reason why anyone wouldn’t ascend, excepting that they might want to stay in the transitional world. Their bias was clearly in favour of moving on and the fact that they used the word ‘ascension’ says it all.

Visibility doesn’t mean what it used to, but that it’s become more of a choice to stay visible and remain relatively safe (in the UK, at least) doesn’t negate the choice to fade back into the woodwork. Transitioning people are largely out because their circumstances demand it: they have to tell people about the change so they can be called by a new name, new pronouns, and generally be perceived differently. Or not, but the point is a person that does make changes needs to make the changes known or they don’t really happen.

For those that decide being visible isn’t really for them, after all, it can be difficult to maintain ties with folks that knew them while in the transitional space. The problem is you can’t really be out for a day. Thing about events like pride is they might be safe events, but the world (or at least the locals) is watching. It’s open to all — including the people you’re not out to. And once you’re out, you’re out.

When I was a support worker, I would say to clients that coming out is scary. It’s losing control of your information. Letting it spread. In the trans world that’s absolutely necessary: you can’t have half your associations using one identity and the other half another (well, you can, but often becomes impractical). But what about when the new identity has spread as far as it will? What about the people who never knew you before? What if you don’t really want to be thought of as ‘that trans person’, and the idea of a known transgender past isn’t comfortable?

Some people might be totally ok with remaining open about their status; being outed by association, but some aren’t. Those that aren’t become unsafe in public events like pride, particularly those where they know folks from that time when their boundaries were open out of necessity.

“But this is a safe space,” they might say. Except they are wrong. The same people that would absolutely respect someone’s decision to woodwork themselves in other settings would happily include them in statements and language that outs that person at pride. Out by association is still out, and you can’t be out for a day.

Do go to pride, but be mindful that the person you saw last year might not be as open as they were. Understand that establishing someone’s boundaries keeps them safe, and no setting makes it OK to out someone, even by association. Take the time to find out, the same way you take the time to find out someone’s pronouns. In that way, pride really can be safe for everyone.

A Month of Events and Archives

Rummaging in the Archives

This month we have been spending a lot of time visiting archives at the Museum of English Rural Life (MERL), the Lesbian and Gay Newsmedia Archives (LAGNA) and the National Archives at Kew. we have other trips planned for more rummaging at these and at other archives around the country. The National Archives hold frequent events, many focused on LGBT histories which are very well presented and thought provoking. I deeply disliked history lessons at school, if they had been more like the archive research we have been doing I feel many more people would become engaged by our rich past. It is such a pity that teachers do not have the freedom or resources to allow this.

View from LAGNA reading rooms

Heritage Lottery Fund Networking Event

The HLF will be running an event for current and potential recipients on the 15th of September in Reading. This event aims to encourage more funding applications for LGBT+ projects. Our very own Lynden Kingston (CEO) will be giving a presentation.

This drive for more LGBT+ applications is also being supported by a series of articles and blogs, the first of which can be viewed on their website.

Reading Pride

We are very busy with events in September, also on the calendar is Reading Pride on the 2nd of September. Support U are partnering with Reading Buses again and you may have seen a bus around town with Lord Wolfenden adorning the sides?

Reading buses supporting Support U and Reading Pride

We will also have, curtesy of Reading Buses, an open top bus at the Pride Festival where Kath and I will be on hand to talk about the project. There will also be displays and people to discuss LGBT History Month next February which is supported by Support U.  This will include a series of events, including some talks by The Wolfenden Project. Drop in and see us to find out more.

Before Pride there was Fear and Shame

Before the Pride marches and festivals LGBT people in the UK faced imprisonment, hefty fines, social disgrace and blackmail.

60 years ago Lord Wolfenden published a pivotal report that recommended same-sex love be partially decriminalised. We are marking this anniversary with a project to explore what has happened since that time. We need your recollections – good, bad or indifferent from any time during the last 60 years.

You may have lived through the time when being gay was enough to land you in prison. You may only just be coming to terms with your sexuality or gender. Do you remember Section 28? Were you a teacher or a local government employee between 1988 and 2003? Did Section 28 or its repeal change the way you worked? Were you a student during this time? Have you ever served in the armed forces and identify as gay, bi or lesbian? Did you serve before the change in policy in 2003? Is there homophobia, biphobia or transphobia in your workplace or family?

Whatever you have to share, be it a few words or a few pages, we would love to hear from you. We would like to have personal stories read by actors for a short documentary. We are also interested in any items like letters, pictures or newspaper clippings that you are happy for us to photograph and use.

We will need an approximate date/year for your memory and ideally a rough location, particularly if it is from outside the UK. All contributions will be treated as confidential unless you expressly state you are happy for us to include your name.

Please email contributions to: history@supportu.org.uk
or write to:
The Wolfenden Project
Support U
15 Castle Street
Reading
RG1 7SB

A Less Happy Event

You may have heard that Support U was broken into earlier this month. While the would be thief was scared off before they took anything they did cause a huge amount of expensive damage. We do not receive any public funding and the costs of repairs and upgrading our security systems is a huge drain on our funds earmarked to help people. It would be a huge help if you could spare any amount, small or large through our Just Giving page. Thankyou in advance for your generosity.